I leaned the wrong way and fell of the edge of the planet again and therefore have completely missed posting. I keep falling off the edge of the earth or so say my friends. I keep getting e-mails of "What happened to you?"
I'm here. I just keep circumventing the Bay Area on a daily basis in the name of training.
(Slumps over and starts snoring)
Monday, April 28, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Spam-tastic!
Yahoo, I know you are out trying to shop your self around to the highest bidder. You have your high heels on, your push-up bra, and you are walking the streets of acquisition looking for the right price. Yahoo, I must tell you that you have a gigantic hole in your fish-net stockings, it's called spam.
Internet e-mail seems to me to be one of those no-brainer things. I have had an account with you since 90's, so we have been together almost ten years. In ten years of me using your (granted it's free) e-mail, I am amazed at how you have never been able to figure out how to block spam. See I report all the evil spam that I recieve to you in hopes that you will pull your crap together and learn how to block it. I have reported the same 7 chicks that e-mail me millions of times. If I report the same names over and over again - don't you think Yahoo that means that I don't want to receive spam from then and ergo you should not put it in my main mailbox. For god sakes it says "Sexually Explicit" in the subject line. Is that too hard to identify?
On top of all the sexually explicit spam I get, I am lucky enough to receive solicitations for prescription medication. Yahoo are you trying to tell me that I should drug myself and watch porn? Because this is the crap that you send to my Inbox - along with fake lottery winnings. You have turned my Inbox into a cesspool and not matter how much reporting I do, you still can't pull it together and block the crap. I have to wade through all the nonsense just to get to the two legitimate e-mails that I get a day.
I have been using Gmail for quite some time, and it has superior spam blocking super powers. And we all know that Google's search engine is so much better. Yahoo, in my humble opinion, you need to apply another layer of lipstick and not ask for too much.
Internet e-mail seems to me to be one of those no-brainer things. I have had an account with you since 90's, so we have been together almost ten years. In ten years of me using your (granted it's free) e-mail, I am amazed at how you have never been able to figure out how to block spam. See I report all the evil spam that I recieve to you in hopes that you will pull your crap together and learn how to block it. I have reported the same 7 chicks that e-mail me millions of times. If I report the same names over and over again - don't you think Yahoo that means that I don't want to receive spam from then and ergo you should not put it in my main mailbox. For god sakes it says "Sexually Explicit" in the subject line. Is that too hard to identify?
On top of all the sexually explicit spam I get, I am lucky enough to receive solicitations for prescription medication. Yahoo are you trying to tell me that I should drug myself and watch porn? Because this is the crap that you send to my Inbox - along with fake lottery winnings. You have turned my Inbox into a cesspool and not matter how much reporting I do, you still can't pull it together and block the crap. I have to wade through all the nonsense just to get to the two legitimate e-mails that I get a day.
I have been using Gmail for quite some time, and it has superior spam blocking super powers. And we all know that Google's search engine is so much better. Yahoo, in my humble opinion, you need to apply another layer of lipstick and not ask for too much.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Processing
All last week Drew was in our bed. At two am he would come in looking for some cuddling and since I can't resist. He woke up the next morning, rolled over, looked at me and said, "Mom, what is your favorite part of the potty training process?"
What is my favorite part? None of it. But I can't say that, can I. Quick, think of something supportive yet drives the point home. "Honey, I like the part where you go all by yourself and have no accidents".
What is my favorite part? None of it. But I can't say that, can I. Quick, think of something supportive yet drives the point home. "Honey, I like the part where you go all by yourself and have no accidents".
Monday, April 7, 2008
Horder vs. Nagger
You know us as Ava Von Snarky & Mr. Von Snarky. But what you don't know is that we have a double life. I am also know as the Nagger and Mr. Von Snarky is known as the Horder. Mr. Von is a recovering horder. See, he makes the mess and then I nag about it until he wants to shoot me.
I should have known that when we first met that it was an issue when I went to his apartment the first time and I could not walk in it. Everything in the apartment was filled with crap to waist high level. There was a small and narrow path to his bedroom, to the kitchen and to the bathroom. You couldn't move anywhere else due to all the CRAP! He said he had just moved in (which he had) and I bought it.
Needless to say that the hording got so bad that our house was filled and we had 2 20x20 storage units, filled with CRAP! We couldn't find the crap we really needed because there was so much CRAP! I knew that he had a problem and we figured it out. It took 5 years to clean out all the crap. Every week we would have a 64 gallon recycling bin filled to the brim - for 5 years. Our garbage and recycling man hated us. I used to tape tips to the cans to ease the pain. We eventually cleaned out the house on got rid of the two storage unit.
How did it get so bad? I didn't realize how bad it was in the first place and it took over the house before I knew it. I was unable to organize that amount of mess. That and our house had no closets - and that complicates things when you have CRAP and nowhere to hide it. Well soon I went from the Enabler (living with it) to the Nagger. I the Nagger was taking away his precious CRAP and therefore I was the enemy. It has been a long road back to organized and clean, but we have gotten there. We have no storage unit, and if we buy something new, three old things go out.
I can't say how proud of I am of Mr. Von Snarky for coming as far as he has. When he is not paying attention, he starts to hord and we have to put it in check. So after getting rid of all that crap we are left with a lot of projects. We can't get rid of more CRAP until these projects are completed and these projects take a long time to complete. However this weekend, we went into the office to dig him out again. He has been hording around his desk again. What was supposed to be a quick clean-up turned into us gripe fest between the Horder & the Nagger. The reality that we have quite a ways to go before the mess is over was quite a blow.
However the Horder has been very diligently chipping away these projects. His dilligence is astounding. It it was up to me I would have loaded everything into the car and taken it to the electronics recycling center - A LONG TIME A GO! But since he has gotten rid of so much and worked so hard my only choice is to help him. So I can't be the Nagger with the foul tongue, I must transition to the helper and do it his way. After all he has complied with me 150%.
I should have known that when we first met that it was an issue when I went to his apartment the first time and I could not walk in it. Everything in the apartment was filled with crap to waist high level. There was a small and narrow path to his bedroom, to the kitchen and to the bathroom. You couldn't move anywhere else due to all the CRAP! He said he had just moved in (which he had) and I bought it.
Needless to say that the hording got so bad that our house was filled and we had 2 20x20 storage units, filled with CRAP! We couldn't find the crap we really needed because there was so much CRAP! I knew that he had a problem and we figured it out. It took 5 years to clean out all the crap. Every week we would have a 64 gallon recycling bin filled to the brim - for 5 years. Our garbage and recycling man hated us. I used to tape tips to the cans to ease the pain. We eventually cleaned out the house on got rid of the two storage unit.
How did it get so bad? I didn't realize how bad it was in the first place and it took over the house before I knew it. I was unable to organize that amount of mess. That and our house had no closets - and that complicates things when you have CRAP and nowhere to hide it. Well soon I went from the Enabler (living with it) to the Nagger. I the Nagger was taking away his precious CRAP and therefore I was the enemy. It has been a long road back to organized and clean, but we have gotten there. We have no storage unit, and if we buy something new, three old things go out.
I can't say how proud of I am of Mr. Von Snarky for coming as far as he has. When he is not paying attention, he starts to hord and we have to put it in check. So after getting rid of all that crap we are left with a lot of projects. We can't get rid of more CRAP until these projects are completed and these projects take a long time to complete. However this weekend, we went into the office to dig him out again. He has been hording around his desk again. What was supposed to be a quick clean-up turned into us gripe fest between the Horder & the Nagger. The reality that we have quite a ways to go before the mess is over was quite a blow.
However the Horder has been very diligently chipping away these projects. His dilligence is astounding. It it was up to me I would have loaded everything into the car and taken it to the electronics recycling center - A LONG TIME A GO! But since he has gotten rid of so much and worked so hard my only choice is to help him. So I can't be the Nagger with the foul tongue, I must transition to the helper and do it his way. After all he has complied with me 150%.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Evicted
He sauntered in all innocent like: all sleepy and warm with his blanket at 4am this morning. He exclaimed innocently that he wanted to cuddle. In the most authoratative voice that I could muster at 4am I said sure, but just for a little bit because I was going to be sending him right back to bed. He settled in between Mr. Von Snarky and I. And I fell back asleep.
At 5am I wake up to find that someone had invaded my pillow space. It's cool little one, you look so cute angelically sleeping there and I can share some pillow. I have still maintained the majority of my spot on the bed, I can spare some pillow.
However at 6am as I was hanging on to an inch of my pillow and the side of the bedI see that I had been very strategically evicted from my own soft warm bed, that I so kindly shared at 4am. You see the guy had slowly put masterfully stolen all of my pillow, then turned himself at an angle so as to eject me from the bed and kick his dad in the butt.
You see I am shocked since I am the primary blanket and bed stealer in the family. If there is a comfy spot, be it couch or bed, I will consume all of it and without apology. I was quite taken aback at the cunning of our three year old. Next time I am not falling for, "Can I cuddle?"
At 5am I wake up to find that someone had invaded my pillow space. It's cool little one, you look so cute angelically sleeping there and I can share some pillow. I have still maintained the majority of my spot on the bed, I can spare some pillow.
However at 6am as I was hanging on to an inch of my pillow and the side of the bedI see that I had been very strategically evicted from my own soft warm bed, that I so kindly shared at 4am. You see the guy had slowly put masterfully stolen all of my pillow, then turned himself at an angle so as to eject me from the bed and kick his dad in the butt.
You see I am shocked since I am the primary blanket and bed stealer in the family. If there is a comfy spot, be it couch or bed, I will consume all of it and without apology. I was quite taken aback at the cunning of our three year old. Next time I am not falling for, "Can I cuddle?"
Monday, March 31, 2008
Thank heaven for underware
I see London, I see France, I am so thankful to see my 3 year old in underpants. While I was busy applying more rubber to the road all over the Bay Area, Mr. Von Snarky took the bull by the horn and sent Drew to Preschool in underpants. And guess what? They came back dry!
And then over the weekend while we were home, he didn't have an accident the whole time. (wheep, sniff) You see I am just so damn thankful I will not have to wipe poo for a while until I see a plump, sweet-smelling baby and decide I have to have another one. It's so great not be trying to get the largest size diaper they make to fit on your 3 year old that is as tall as a 5 year old. We had to get him out of diapers, because they weren't making them big enough anymore.
Thank you! Thank you heaven for no more smelly pants!
And then over the weekend while we were home, he didn't have an accident the whole time. (wheep, sniff) You see I am just so damn thankful I will not have to wipe poo for a while until I see a plump, sweet-smelling baby and decide I have to have another one. It's so great not be trying to get the largest size diaper they make to fit on your 3 year old that is as tall as a 5 year old. We had to get him out of diapers, because they weren't making them big enough anymore.
Thank you! Thank you heaven for no more smelly pants!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Thanks and Thanks a Lot
Thanks Mr. Von Snarky for reporting my whereabouts. I have not runaway with a tall swede. Thank you for hanging in there with me, I started a new job this week with Mega Bank, which is turning out to be a great thing for me. They even gave me an office, which I feel totally uncomfortable in, see I am a cubicle monger. I am hiding behind my desk as we speak thinking that the office police are going to come in and take their office back. See they must have made a mistake in thinking I was adult enough for an office. Does this mean I have to act like an adult? Because farts still make my laugh.
So here comes the snarky "thanks a lot". With my new job I have been going to different banking locations and closing them down. Part of that requires me to pack up their credit files. Because this is such a cumbersome task I have been going from location to location logging, packing, security seals, logging some more, taping and cursing. This one location begged me for their help, said they had tons of files, and they were just so busy, and to please save them from file boxing hell. I arrive and find that they only have 8 drawers to box ( Where did the other 10 million that they were complaining about go?)
While I am feverishly packing away files on the second floor of the bank with no idea what is going on downstairs, I didn't realize that the bank closed at 4:30pm. I go to take the elevator down at 4:45pm and realize that I can't get down the elevator into the branch to exit the bank. I called downstairs and got no answer. I frantically looked for an emergency staircase which to my amazing luck exited outside the building. I look in the window of the bank and there is no one in there. Well gee thanks a lot for locking me in the building. I probably set off the alarm when I went out the emergency exit. And when I got back to my car, I had a parking ticket.
Things are going better this week, however I am all over the place.
So here comes the snarky "thanks a lot". With my new job I have been going to different banking locations and closing them down. Part of that requires me to pack up their credit files. Because this is such a cumbersome task I have been going from location to location logging, packing, security seals, logging some more, taping and cursing. This one location begged me for their help, said they had tons of files, and they were just so busy, and to please save them from file boxing hell. I arrive and find that they only have 8 drawers to box ( Where did the other 10 million that they were complaining about go?)
While I am feverishly packing away files on the second floor of the bank with no idea what is going on downstairs, I didn't realize that the bank closed at 4:30pm. I go to take the elevator down at 4:45pm and realize that I can't get down the elevator into the branch to exit the bank. I called downstairs and got no answer. I frantically looked for an emergency staircase which to my amazing luck exited outside the building. I look in the window of the bank and there is no one in there. Well gee thanks a lot for locking me in the building. I probably set off the alarm when I went out the emergency exit. And when I got back to my car, I had a parking ticket.
Things are going better this week, however I am all over the place.
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