Mother in Law Alert

Alarms are sounding in my house. My mother in law is arriving in t-minus 48 hours. My house is a disaster, what I do. What do I do… (In my best Keanu Reeves voice).

The marathon cleaning begins tonight at 6pm when we arrive at home. My husband will be bringing home food and an espresso so that I may clean at my maximum capacity. By 7:30pm food and espresso will be consumed, laundry will be started and I will start tackling the house. During the straightening up phase, it’s best if my husband and son just stay out of the way, they know this because I turn into this mad whirl wind that puts everything back in its rightful place. Tomorrow the boys will help with cleaning. Drew is awesome with the Swiffer duster, and my husband will clean the kitchen floor, which he excels at. He is god when it comes to vacuuming, he actually moves all the furniture and vacuums under it.

I have found though that I need a certain type of music to clean at this rapid pace. The only thing that will do is Disco. My mom cleaned to disco and so do I. I break out the Abba, Donna Summer, and the Bee Gees and bop my way through the house. That way I get some dancing in with my cleaning.

But I have learned that when having mothering figures are in the house, I must leave something dirty for them to clean or organize. Whether it is my mother or his mother they always start cleaning my house about two hours after they arrive. I used to be insulted, considering I just spent the prior 48 hours making every single inch of my house spectacular. Yes, I break out the Q-tips and clean the grooves in the refrigerator door. I soak the oven knobs in vinegar to get all the grease off.

The project I will be leaving my mother in law is to organize my Tupperware. That should keep her busy, and if she is not satisfied, then she can start on the pantry. Maybe the mothers cleaning my house is not about me, maybe it is about feeling like they need to help while they are here since they are both far away and only see Drew about once a year. No problem, have at. Just don’t touch my underwear drawer. I don’t want to have to explain why I am still wearing maternity underwear that doesn't fit three years later.