Sick Central

(narrated in a 1950's radio voice)

Radio Announcer: "This just in from Sick Central. The enemy has crossed our lines of defense and has taken the youngest Von Snarky down again with its vicious stomach virus. Crews are rallying, stocked with Pedialyte and baby food, they are battling back the enemy.

But in an unexpected turn of events Mr. Von Snarky went down, I repeat, Mr. Von Snarky has been taken down. Sniped by ruthless head cold he has been rendered incapacitated. The soldiers are rallying with OJ and Emergen C.

Now we go to Ava Von Snarky, General in Command and Laundry Lady, who is behind enemy lines."

Radio Announcer: "AvaVon Snarky, can you tell me what it is like there on the ground?"
Ava Von Snarky: "It's horrible, there is puke and snot every where"
Radio Announcer: "Any idea when you will have a leg up on the enemy?"
Ava Von Snarky: "I'm trying, but they are fierce and ruthless, all my attempts at healing have been thwarted. Oh no! I have to go! Incoming!"

Radio Announcer: "It sounds like our brave Ava Von Snarky was attacked again. Let's hope her trusty washing machine with the Heavily Soiled setting stands up to the challenge. God's speed Ava Von Snarky! Until next time!"