Throwing in the Towel

The eternal question: Why did I pick this bunch of jerks as a family? How did I end up with the most bitter, dysfunctional, vindictive, and flaky people as family on my Mom’s side? Why can’t we all get along? Because we are the Hutch family. Backstabbing, lies, broken-commitments, crazy behavior and lame excuses are the order of the day.

The only bright spot is my cousin Mindy. Even though our mothers are sisters and they are having an epic feud at the moment, we remain loyal to one thing, each other. We both seemed to have picked up our Mom’s out of the crazy bargain bin. The crazier they are, the cheaper the price. We always seem to have to fend off the people in our lives that should have protected us the most. So Mindy and I have banded together. Our rules are that we are always honest, no attitude, open communication and respect. We also always take care of each other and we know no matter what, we can count on each other. I would give her a kidney. So this week was Mindy’s 30th birthday and me and her boyfriend are throwing her a surprise party. Her mother was scheduled to come and bring dessert. As always my aunt called me today to tell me she wasn’t coming. Medical emergency, my uncle has intestinal blockage. The nice part of me is concerned and hopes my uncle is okay. The cynical side of me is taking note that this is the 5th time they have cancelled on plans. This is also the 5th time they have pleaded the medical excuse. They are also supposed to come down next weekend for my nephew’s 13th birthday party.

Mindy’s mom has ALWAYS bailed on her, so much so that we are now taking wagers on whether she will be there next weekend or not. I am placing all my money that she will be there next weekend. See Mindy’s mom (my aunt) always shows up for other people. She never shows up for Mindy. My aunt has always treated my sister better than her own daughter. It makes me so angry and hurt for Mindy. I can almost see the logic in my Aunt’s head. Mindy will forgive her, and she only feels like making the drive into town once. So here my aunt calls me yeat again to cancel and then she offers me money for the deserts that she was going to make. It’s not about the money, I could care less. It’s about showing up for her daughter who is the sweetest person on the planet.

This on top of everything else, there was a huge feud between everyone right before Thanksgiving and no one is talking to each other, except Mindy and I. Our family is so dysfunctional that it seems not even worth calling them family anymore. So much strife and hurt makes me wonder that the point is. Do I really want my son getting to know these people? Do I invite them to his next birthday party knowing all of them will call and cancel giving me some lame (cough, cough) explanation? But here is the real truth of the situation is we just don’t like each other and we hate that we are related to one another. Why can’t we be honest about our situation? Can’t we just admit our hatred, raise the white flag, and disband? Why do we keep trying to pretend that we are family when we clearly are not? How do I teach my son the meaning of family? Thank God I have a good relationship with my Dad and step-mom. At least I have them to turn to.

I think Mindy and I should link arms, ditch the rest of the Hutch’s, stroll into the sunrise and start new.